"Last weekend, while other Americans were watching football and eating leftover turkey, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld ended the Iraqi insurgency.
It was easy, really: He declared that the insurgents would, henceforth, no longer be called insurgents.
"Over the weekend, I thought to myself, 'You know, that gives them a greater legitimacy than they seem to merit,' " Rumsfeld, at a Pentagon briefing yesterday, said of his ban on the I-word. "It was an epiphany," he added, throwing his hands in the air.
Encouraging reporters to consult their dictionaries, the defense secretary said: "These people aren't trying to promote something other than disorder, and to take over that country and turn it into a caliphate and then spread it around the world. This is a group of people who don't merit the word 'insurgency,' I think."
Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Peter Pace, standing at Rumsfeld's side, evidently didn't get the memo about the wording change. Describing combat in Iraq, he paused and said, "I have to use the word 'insurgent' because I can't think of a better word right now."
" 'Enemies of the legitimate Iraqi government' -- how's that?" Rumsfeld proposed.
"What the secretary said," Pace continued, to laughter. But Rumsfeld's new description -- ELIG, if you prefer an acronym -- didn't stick with the general. Smiling, he uttered the forbidden word again while discussing explosive devices.
The secretary recoiled in mock horror. "Sorry, sir," Pace explained. "I'm not trainable today."Rumsfeld's War On 'Insurgents'
November 30, 2005Guess whose training is paying off?Ramadi attack
October 15 , 2005 (Download a 8.8MB file, RealOne Player, and wait till the end of the video clip) .Fallujah attack
December 1, 2005 (immediate playing) while "The Military Misleads Press, Families, About How 10 Marines Died Last Week in Iraq
" December 6, 2005.Perhaps Rumsfeld should create one of his cozy metrics for such "dead-enders".By the way, this "dead ender" is not just training for a 'Practice shoot'